Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
