you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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