Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
