The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
