Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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