What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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