I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
