Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
