Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
