I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
