It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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