Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
