all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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