none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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