Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
