girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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