You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
