His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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