oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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