Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
