is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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