we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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