So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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