Whod you bang
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
