The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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