I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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