My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
