Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i think my cat just said my name.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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