brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
