New invention idea: vibrating tampons
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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