If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
