So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
