blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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