You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
