I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I smell stomach acid.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need water and some morals
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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