i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
