he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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