Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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