One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
