This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
