Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im holly from the hills drunk
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
