Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
