why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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