Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
