I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
