Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
