my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
