Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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