she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
