O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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