I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
