Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
accomplished twins. life is a go
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
